


mellifluous

by bellamytbh



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blindness, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay Male Character, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:19:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamytbh/pseuds/bellamytbh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy Blake is in love with a blind boy named John Murphy.</p><p>- Inspired by the 2014 movie, "The Way He Looks"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

John Murphy was the first one ushered onto the dropship by a fellow delinquent with nothing but his white cane in hand. 

"I can walk by myself, you don't have to hold my arm." Murphy spit, as soon as the words left his mouth he could feel the pressure around his elbow lessen as the delinquent (Murphy was pretty sure his name was Miller) let go. Murphy took a moment to readjust himself, before continuing forward with his cane tapping the ground in front of him - alerting him to any obstacles in his direct path. 

"Asshlole." Miller mumbled softly under his breath, rolling his eyes at the boys arrogance. 

Murphy couldn't help but scoff, "You know when you lose one of your senses, the other ones are heightened." He made a show of pulling on his earlobe, "Especially these bad boys." 

"Whatever, come on your holding everyone else up. Watch your step." Miller placed a delicate hand on Murphy's shoulder, leading him over the small gap in which the dropship was connected to the Ark. 

Murphy could feel his environment change; they went from the finite openness of the ark to a small metal pod that was probably cramped with seats in preparation for the 100 kids the council was sending to their deaths. The dropship smelled dusty and old, no one had been in there since it was made. Plus the council had most likely cut off the air supply to this unused part of the ship in an attempt to conserve. 

Miller lead Murphy into the nearest seat, "Sit." Miller said. Murphy did as told, dropping his body down slowly and then all at once once he was sure there was a seat below him. Murphy's hands swiped left and right across the metal seat, trying to find the seatbelt in order to secure himself in. "Here, lemme." Miller spoke softly, taking the buckles and in one quick motion, strapping Murphy in. "You're all set."

"Thanks." Murphy mumbled, his lips drooping into a semi-frown. Murphy felt bad for being rude to the kid, he was only trying to help - and Murphy definitely needed occasional assistance. But his rudeness wasn't intentional, it was a defense mechanism he had gained years after going blind. Bullies and mean words had pushed the once kind and caring Murphy to pure coldness. He had gone years sticking only to himself and not trusting a single soul, in fear that he would get his heart broken. 

"We're ready!" Miller called out.

The calming serenity of being alone in the drop ship turned into pure madness as 98 other sets of feet marched onto the metal pod, eager screams and shouts of excitement filled the air. Murphy was able to pick up the occasional soft whimper and cry. 

The sounds reminded him of a book someone had read to him once about the pre-apocalyptic world. The book detailed the events of a war that happened on Earth hundreds of years ago; in which a dictator ordered a genocide and sent thousands of innocent souls into gas chambers to their deaths. 

The similarities were eerie. The room was jammed to its capacity and Murphy felt as if he was suffocating; oddly enough Murphy did not feel anyone in the seats next to him. 

Of course - no one wanted to sit next to the blind kid. 

The shouts of excitement came to a dull roar as the delinquent teenagers began buckling into their seats. Then there was a static noise and the sound of Chancellor Jaha's voice came on through the speaker. Murphy, however, was too busy in his own thoughts to pay attention. But he could already tell that Jaha was rambling off some generic speech about the importance of this mission and how these 100 teenagers were mankind's last hope - yada yada, blah blah. 

Bang! 

The noise made Murphy jump in his seat. 

Bang! 

"Oh my god!" Someone screamed, and then all hell broke loose. 

People began panicking and screaming and unbuckling their seat belts. 

"What's going on?!" Murphy yelled, but his words were drowned out by the sounds of terror. He could only think the worse as he fumbled for his seatbelt. Did the drop ship just explode? Murphy couldn't get out of the seat, he needed someone to unbuckle him. 

"I'm gonna die" Murphy mumbled incoherently, his brows furrowed as he panickingly and desperately tried to get out of his seat. "Someone help me!" he shouted. His body trembled and sweat piled on his forehead. 

What the hell was going on?!

"The chancellor's been shot!" Someone screamed. 

Bang!

Murphy threw his hands over his head. Was someone shooting the teens?

"Everyone get into your seats, now!" Someone demanded, probably the gunman. His voice was deep and low. Murphy could sense a slight tremble in his words however, almost as if he was scared. 

There was a loud hissing noise and a metallic clang - the doors were closing. The familiar sound of seatbelts buckling returned and Murphy was sure the dropship was in preparation to launch. Murphy calmed down a little, but he was still afraid of the unknown. Where was the gunman? Why did he shoot Jaha? Was the gunman holding a gun to his head right now and he had no idea? 

Someone plopped into the seat next to Murphy. "How the hell do you work these seatbelts?" The voice was deep and low. There was that same slight tremble - that fear in his voice. 

It was the gunman.


	2. scintilla

Murphy hated Earth. 

The delinquents had only been on the ground for less than a week and Murphy had already formed strong opinions on the radiation soaked planet. 

Number one:  
He had no idea where he was going. 

Murphy had the whole ark memorized like the back of his hand, he knew exactly how many steps it took to get to the cafeteria from his room. 172. He knew how many steps it was from his bunk to the bathroom. 28. And later on, once he was jailed, he knew how many steps it took to get from his bed to the wall of his containment cell. 4. 

Down on the ground, it was a whole new terrain. The comforting familiarity of metal was replaced with trees (whatever the hell that was, Murphy barely knew what they looked like), Murphy wasn't sure where to get food, nor was he sure where to relieve himself. On the first day, he wandered out into the woods, unzipped his pants and began. It wasn't until another teen started laughing and said "What the hell are you doing?" did Murphy realize that sometime during his long walk, he had somehow circled back around and ended up at the drop ship. 

At night, he followed the muffled sounds of snoring and settled down on the cold hard ground to sleep. 

No one ever offered him a blanket. 

Number two:  
The smell was overwhelming. 

While most of the other teenagers were glad to be breathing in the soft, fresh air instead of the recycled, way less than perfect air up on the ark, Murphy found the new air a little too much. 

His enhanced sense of smell exposed to him absolutely everything, the scent of wild flowers on a breeze, the trees swaying in the wind: it all made him nauseous. It was almost like smelling a whole gallon of perfume all at once. 

Number three:  
He had no friends. 

*

Murphy placed a soft hand on his stomach, trying to quiet the grumbling noises that exploded from inside of him. He sat alone in the drop ship, daydreaming of actually eating something. But, he had no idea where the food was being stored and he sure as hell wasn't going to ask anybody. If nobody would talk to them, then he wouldn't talk to anyone either. It's not like he needed any of them anyways. However, he was starving, and he was going to have to find the food supply sooner or later. 

Murphy rose from the ground and opened up his folding cane, tapping it against the floor and shuffling out of the dropship. He was greeted by the warmth of day and the noises of ninety nine other teenagers milling around. 

Murphy discreetly sniffed the air, hoping the aroma of berries, or nuts, or even better, meat, would find him. Murphy was delighted when he inhaled a small trace of berries. Strawberries? No, he never had one of those before. Raspberries? Murphy was pretty sure those went extinct. Blueberries? Most likely. 

The blind boy tapped against the dirt - hoping that his nose would take him to the right spot. His pace quickened a little as the idea of consuming something took over, he could already feel the juices of a fresh blueberry exploding against his mouth and staining his teeth with a light blue color. 

He was so hungry that he didn't even realize he was now on the ground, rubbing at his left shoulder. 

"Hey, watch you're going, jackass!" A feminine voice shouted, but not at Murphy, at someone else. 

"Maybe he should watch where he's going!" They yelled back, "Oh wait, he can't!" The words were followed with laughter, which left a sharp sting in Murphy, before the voice disappeared completely. 

"Let me help you up." Murphy felt a hand wrap around his arm and pull him to his feet. "Those guys are real assholes." 

Murphy just nodded. 

"I'm Octavia, by the way." Octavia stuck out a hand for Murphy to shake, but retracted it when she realized how dumb that was. 

"I'm Murphy." He spoke softly, wishing he could only just see the first person to interact with him on this god forsaken planet. 

"You look lost, do you need some help getting somewhere?" Octavia asked genuinely. 

Murphy nodded, "Food." was all he could say. 

Octavia laughed before slipping an arm under Murphy's, leading him over to the table where the delinquets had begun storing all of their rations. "Whens the last time you ate?"

Murphy told her. 

"Oh my god, here!" she said, stuffing two small pouches full of nuts and berries into Murphy's jacket pocket. 

Murphy thanked her before shoving a handful of the mix into his mouth. He was halfway through chewing when a new voice entered the circle. 

"Whos your new friend, O?" 

Murphy recognized the voice almost instantly - the gunman. 

Murphy began shuffling and stumbling backwards, trying his hardest to not fall down. Oh god, how he wished he could see, just so he could run away from the crazy man with the gun. 

"Murphy! Calm down!" Octavia grabbed the boy's arm to stop his pathetic attempt at an escape. "This is my brother."

"Name's Bellamy." he said softly. "I'm not going to hurt you, relax."

"Why are you here?! You killed the chancellor." 

Bellamy huffed, "Long story." 

*

Hours had passed and Murphy was content with how the day was spent: with his newfound friend Octavia. However, the sun had set and the moon had risen and Octavia had scampered off to be with some boy who Murphy could not remember the name of. 

Adam? Atomic? Something like that. 

Murphy used his cane to find and follow the usual snoring sounds. Once he was sure he was in the right spot, he placed his hands out in front of him: looking for the huge oak tree he had slept near for the past few days. It was easily distinguishable mostly because there was a huge boulder right next to it that Murphy had walked right into on the first night and also because the air smelled just a little less sweet in that one spot. 

The boy turned his back to the tree and slid down to the ground; the rough tree bark scratching his back as it collided with the fabric of his jacket. The boy collapsed his cane and shoved it into his pocket, closing his eyes and settling in for the night. 

Murphy loved to sleep for it was the only time he could see - in his dreams. 

Most of his dreams were variations of memories he had from his childhood before he had went blind. The dreams were bittersweet: the memories were painful but the feeling of being able to see again was incomparable. 

"Murphy?" Bellamy was kneeling, eye to eye with the sleeping boy. 

"Hmmm.... what..." Murphy groaned, stirring in his sleep. 

"Come. Sleep in my tent."

"Why?" Murphy asked, more awake now "So you can shoot me? No thanks." 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "It's cold out here. I'll be doing Octavia a favor if I look after you." 

"I'm not a little kid, I don't need you to take care of me."

"You're as stubborn as a kid." Bellamy retorted. 

A dull silence drifted between the boys as Murphy folded his arms over his chest and pulled his body a little closer to the tree, trying to fall back asleep.

"You know what? Fine." Bellamy rose and began to walk off. 

Murphy had to process this decision in his head. 

Pros of sleeping in Bellamy's tent:  
Probably warmer than outside.  
Actual companionship maybe even a new friend. 

Cons:  
The "friend" was a homicidal maniac with a gun. 

Murphy shivered as a cold breeze blew through the night: the pros outweighed the cons at this point. 

"Wait, wait. I'm coming." Murphy dug into his pockets for his folding cane and was just about to expand it when he felt a hand wrap around his wrist. 

"I got you." Bellamy whispered softly, making Murphy feel more safe than he had in years. 

"Watch your step." Bellamy warned. Murphy took extra caution. 

"Okay, duck down." Bellamy instructed. Murphy did as told. 

The air around him shifted. From the clean air of Earth to a slightly more humid version. From the pungent smell of flowers and trees to the masculine smell of... Bellamy. 

His tent was warm and Murphy wasn't sure if that was just the tent itself or because of how close the two were together in the small quarters. It was big enough for the both of them, but there was very little wiggle room in between. Murphy could practically feel Bellamy's breath on his neck.

"Here." Bellamy wrapped a blanket around the smaller boy. 

Wow, a blanket. An actual blanket. Murphy rubbed the soft fabric against his face. He was smiling from ear to ear, but immediately stopped when he realized Bellamy was probably looking at him funny. Murphy cleared his throat awkwardly and mustered up the most casual "thank you" he possibly could. 

"I sleep in my underwear, I hope you don't mind." Murphy heard the fabric of the tent wiggling as Bellamy shifted in in, removing whatever clothing he had on and tossing it into a corner. 

"I can't see. Remember?" Murphy laid his head down. 

"Forgot, sorry." 

"Bellamy?" Murphy spoke lightly. 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being nice to me."

"No problem." Bellamy nodded, a slight smirk  
spreading across his lips. 

John Murphy fell asleep that night by Bellamy Blake's side.


	3. efflorescence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so short, sorry :-( but the next one is practically done, so i'll be posting it sometime this week!

Morning followed the soft night and Murphy was thoroughly surprised that Bellamy asked if he'd like to join him on a hunting trip. 

"I have nothing to do anyways." Murphy responded. 

And that's how he found himself in the woods alone with Bellamy, a makeshift spear and a gun. Odd. Only because Murphy was incredibly afraid of Bellamy yesterday. 

But today, he felt safe, sitting on a tree stump as Bellamy waited and watched for an animal to run along in hopes of catching it for food. 

"Bellamy." Murphy mumbled quietly. 

"Yeah?" Bellamy responded, his eyes scanning the distance. 

"Can you... tell me what trees look like?" 

The other boy turned to face Murphy. "You want me to... describe trees to you?"

Murphy nodded, "I just wanna know what everyone else sees, y'know? If its too weird, you don't have too..." his voice trailed off. 

Bellamy shook his head, setting his weapons gently on the ground before walking over to Murphy and helping him off of the tree stump. Bellamy placed a delicate hand on top of Murphy's and lead his fingers to a nearby tree. 

"You feel that?" Bellamy asked, his body pressing closer to Murphy's. 

"It's rough." Murphy said, running a smooth hand over whatever he was feeling. 

"This is the bark of the tree." 

"Bark? Like what a dog does?" 

Bellamy chuckled. "Yeah, just like a dog. The bark is the top layer of the tree, kind of like its skin. Under the bark is the wood. This one tree is kind of tall, taller than me and you combined." 

Murphy titled his head up to the sky, desperately wishing that he could see what Bellamy saw. 

Bellamy guided Murphy over to the leaves, then gently lifted Murphy's arm up with his own so he could grasp onto a branch. "These are the leaves." 

"Its smooth." Murphy pressed his fingers into the plant, feeling all the grooves and veins embedded deep inside of it. "I'm still not getting how this all connects." Murphy huffed. "There's bark, and there's leaves but it doesn't make sense."

Bellamy thought for a moment. "Okay, think of you arm as the tree." Bellamy ran his fingers over the soft skin of Murphy's arm. "This is the bark, the trunk of the tree." He made a show of slowly running his fingers over Murphy's arm to help him visualize it. "At the top of the tree, are branches. They stick out from the tree, just like your fingers." Bellamy's fingers crawled against Murphy's own. "The leaves stem off of the branches, like this." Bellamy intertwined his fingers with Murphy's. "You get it now?" 

"A little." Murphy laughed. "You know, if you just wanted to hold my hand you could of told me so."

Bellamy playfully punched Murphy in the arm, "Shut up."

*

Despite the hand holding thing, the hunting trip was a success and Bellamy was hailed as a hero for bringing back some meat. 

Night fell, and the 100 began to cook their dinner. Murphy found his way to a log close to the fire and perched atop it. The crackling of the flames and its warmth made him feel safe. The joyous noise the teenagers emitted, their care for one another, and their companionship, made him feel like he was home.

Murphy never really had a home before. 

"Hey stranger." Octavia's voice chimed in his ear. 

"Octavia, hey." he smiled. 

"He really likes spending time with you."

"Bellamy?" Murphy asked with raised eyebrows. 

The girl nodded, "He's practically telling everyone what a cool guy you are." Octavia's gaze fell upon her older brother who was talking to some people in the distance. "He's not as bad as you might think."

Murphy chuckled, thinking back to the shooting on the Ark. "He shot someone, O." 

"Its not like he wanted too." 

"What do you mean? How do you shoot someone but not want too."

"Just... ask him about it." Octavia rose from the log and left Murphy alone with the sounds of the roaring fire. 

*

After the meal, Bellamy invited Murphy to sleep in his tent again, to which Murphy happily accepted. Not only because the nights were getting colder, but because he was hoping he could get Bellamy to open up about the shooting. 

There was no good way to beat around the bush about this kind of subject, so when the boys were laying down, Murphy just asked flat out: "Why'd you shoot the chancellor?"

Bellamy was caught off guard, "What?"

Murphy repeated his question. 

The other boy turned his body to face Murphy. Murphy could feel Bellamy's warm breath seeping into his skin. "Why are you so hung up on this?" 

"The fact that you shot someone bothers me." Murphy shrugged. 

"You're living in a camp full of murderers and delinquent teens and you're more worried about me? Your friend?"

Friend. The word made a home in Murphy's ears.

"I just want to know why." 

"I shot the chancellor for Octavia." Bellamy said softly. Leaving out a few details. 

"Octavia asked you to shoot him?" 

Bellamy chuckled, "No, you idiot. I shot him so I could get onto the dropship. To protect Octavia." 

"You don't think Octavia can protect herself?" 

"I was worried about her. She's the only family I have." 

The boys were silent for a moment. 

"Tell me how you went blind." Bellamy said, more of a demand than a question. 

"What? This isn't a slumber party, we're not sharing secrets like little girls." Murphy turned his body to face away from Bellamy. 

Bellamy propped his head up on his hand. "Why not? I told you something personal, its your turn." 

Murphy had never told anyone about what had happened when he was younger. The experiences created a deep hole in Murphy's mind and he refused to dig them out. But here came Bellamy, with a metaphorical shovel. 

"I was four years old. I had the flu." 

Bellamy was listening attentively.

"My father stole medicine, that turns out wouldn't have helped anyway. Gets floated for it."

"I'm sorry." Bellamy mumbled. 

Murphy snubbed his apologies. "The flu got worse. Turning into an infection. As my mom started drinking herself to death, my eyesight was going quicker and quicker."

"Murphy you don't have to finish, its fine." Bellamy urged, noticing the boy was on the verge of tears and that his voice had begun to crack. 

"The last words she said to me, was that I killed my father." Murphy was sobbing now, raw emotions from a childhood he had kept secret now flooding back. 

Bellamy pulled Murphy into his arms, rubbing delicate circles into the smaller boy's back. "Shh, shh. Its okay." Bellamy whispered. 

Murphy's sobs were drowned out by Bellamy's chest and his shirt soaked up all his tears. 

John Murphy fell asleep that night in Bellamy Blake's arms.


	4. cynosure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter sucks so bad forgive me

The first death on the ground was a boy named Wells Jaha; the chancellor of the Ark's son. 

Two of his fingers were cut off and there was a deep stab wound in the side of his neck. 

Murphy was the one to find him, after tripping over his corpse on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. 

No one knew who had killed the boy. 

Although he hadn't actually seen the body, Murphy was still beyond shaken up. He had in fact come across a body, a dead body, a lifeless bag of bones, a mass of meat that used to contain a living person. 

After the discovery and after the camp had seemed to calm down just a bit, Murphy made his way to the dropship with intent of just staying there for a while: alone with his thoughts. 

However, that didn't last long. 

A woman who sounded like she was crying came shuffling into the metal cage that the delinquents crash landed on Earth in. 

The woman laid two startled eyes on Murphy and stopped in her tracks, sniffling up a sob before speaking. "Oh sorry, I didn't see you there... I'll leave you alone." The woman was just about to turn on her heels when Murphy called out to her. 

"No. Stay. Please." he said softly yet loud enough for her to hear. His hand was held out in front of him as if he was about to tug on the sleeve of the girl's shirt. 

"Okay." Murphy could feel the girl getting closer to him. "I'm Clarke." she mumbled. 

"Murphy." he smiled, not even sure if Clarke was looking his way. "Are you... alright? Sounds like you're crying."

Clarke made a pathetic attempt at trying to hide her emotions. "Yeah, I'm fine!" Her voice pushed to faux edges of excitement. 

"You knew Wells, huh?"

There was silence, followed by a heavy breath and a sniffle, "He was one of my best friends."

"I'm sorry." Murphy muttered those two words he had rarely used his whole life. What did he have to be sorry for? He didn't do anything. He didn't kill the guy. But, for some odd reason Murphy felt responsible. 

There was another shuffle of footsteps and a new voice thudded against the walls of the dropship. "Murphy, I've been looking for you." 

It was Bellamy. 

Clarke wiped away at her tears and stood up straighter, her shoulders back, her chest out and her chin lifted up.

"Well you found me! This was a fun game of hide and seek! Let's play again sometime." Murphy rolled his eyes and took out his folding cane - making his way out of the drop ship and into the daylight. 

Bellamy followed behind, grabbing Murphy by the arm and spinning the boy on the heels of his feet - making him face him. "Look, you can't just wander off and not tell anyone where you're going." Bellamy asserted. 

Murphy stifled a scoff, "I can do what I want." Murphy wiggled free of Bellamy's grasp and tried to walk away dramatically, but it wasn't working. Especially when Murphy had no idea where he was going. 

"No you can't just do what you want, Murphy." Bellamy hovered over the boy. "This isn't the Ark, it's dangerous out here." Bellamy was afraid Murphy would suffer the same fate as Wells. 

"I'm not a child, Bell. Don't treat me like one."

Bellamy's voice was soft now, "I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt." The words made Murphy feel warm. 

No one ever really cared about Murphy. He had been on his own for the majority of his life. It felt odd, to let someone in. 

*

Hunting trips had really become Murphy and Bellamy's thing. Bellamy hunted and Murphy tagged along for moral support. That, and Murphy had begun to really enjoy spending time with Bellamy, and he was almost positive that Bellamy would say the same. 

The two boys had been getting particularly close lately. Especially because Bellamy knew more about Murphy more than anyone else in the universe. Bellamy had become his home and Murphy had established himself in between Bellamy's walls. Murphy had grown accustomed to Bellamy's scent, and the way Bellamy's hand fit on Murphy's arm when he helped him around. Not to mention, Bellamy's voice. 

The voice that made Murphy feel warm during cold nights. The voice that had a hold on Murphy's heart and refused to let go. The voice that Murphy could easily pick up in a crowd of a thousand. The voice that Murphy hoped would be the last thing he heard before he departed this earthly world. 

Bellamy's voice was mellifluous. 

Bellamy's voice cut into Murphy's pleasant thoughts, "What is that..." he questioned softly. 

"What is what?" Murphy asked, rising from his usual tree stump. 

"We need to get out of here, now." Bellamy rushed over to Murphy and slipped his fingers in between his own. Bellamy quickened his pace sharply; starting out with a light jog. But, not before long, the duo were full blown running. 

"What are we running from?!" Murphy yelled out, his voiced infusing with the sounds of tree branches snapping and a heavy dull sound somewhere in the distance. Murphy held on to Bellamy's hand a little tighter. 

"In here." Bellamy pulled Murphy in front of him and suddenly the air changed. They were somewhere closed off, the sounds of the forest were dissipated and now the only thing Murphy could hear was Bellamy's heavy breathing. 

"What the hell is going on, Bell?! Where are we?!" Murphy demanded. 

Bellamy took a second to catch his breathe. "There was... some sort of fog. It was brown. Not normal." He coughed. "I found a cave. God, its dark in here."

"Yeah, I can't really tell." Murphy chuckled. "At least you see what I see."

Bellamy followed the sound of Murphy's voice and took a seat before pulling on Murphy's arm, gesturing for him to sit also. 

"How long do you think the fogs going to last?"

"Not sure, minutes, hours. Maybe?" Bellamy responded. 

Murphy could sense a hint of worry in Bellamy's voice. "I'm sure Octavia's fine."

"Its not Octavia that I'm worried about." Bellamy huffed. "How are we gonna pass the time, Murph?"

Murphy thought for a second, "Tell me about your first kiss."

The older boy grinned, "Why?" 

"Cause I'm interested in everything there is to know about Bellamy Blake." 

"Okay..." Bellamy called upon his memories, his first kiss was far from memorable. "It was when I was nine. With a girl named Rosie. Her lips tasted like cherries." 

"Oddly specific." 

"You asked. Your turn."

"There we go again. Always trying to flip the table."

"Its only fair." Bellamy pouted jokingly. 

"I've never kissed anyone." Murphy stated simply. 

"Nobody? Not even when you were little?"

Murphy shook his head. "Nope." Popping the 'P'. "Who wants to kiss a blind guy?" Murphy asked rhetorically. 

Bellamy could think of one person. 

Time passed and the boys ended up taking a nap in the cave. 

A comforting silence floated in between their synchronized heartbeats. 

*

Murphy couldn't sleep that night. The warmth of Bellamy's tent and the thoughts of Wells smothered him. 

His killed still never came forward. The thought of a killer being in the camp was frightening. But then again, there was probably more than one. They were a group of 100 delinquents after all. 

Bellamy however, fell asleep in almost 5 minutes of his head hitting the makeshift pillow, like he did every night. But tonight was a little different, Murphy felt Bellamy stirring in his sleep. His twists and turns were followed by mumbled almost incoherent words: "No, don't, please."

This was the first night that Bellamy spoke in his sleep. 

Murphy didn't think much of it until Bellamy said something else: "Don't kill him. Don't hurt him." 

Bellamy awoke abruptly, heaving and panting, his heart beating ferociously in his cheat, his skin glistening with his sweat. Murphy sat upright and spoke into the night air, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." he lied. "Just a bad dream." Bellamy stared at Murphy, almost as if he was inspecting him for damage. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." Murphy said softly. 

"Can I hold you?" Bellamy asked quietly. 

The question seemed a little out of place, But Murphy obliged, moving his own body closer to Bellamy's, whose arms instantly covered him. 

The two lied back down, Bellamy never loosening up his hold on the younger boy. 

Murphy nuzzled his head into the crook of Bellamy's neck as he boy traced patterns onto Murphy's back. 

Bellamy closed his eyes. Noticing that their chests rose and fell at the same time. They were perfectly in sync. He also noticed how small Murphy felt in that moment. Bellamy felt an otherworldly duty to protect Murphy with every essence of his being. Which was a difficult task seeing as how Murphy would rather die than be truly and deeply cared for. It was obvious that Murphy was somewhat afraid of affection. But as the days passed, he slowly began opening up to Bellamy. 

These small moments, however, were ones that Bellamy would cherish forever. 

"I love you." Bellamy Blake whispered into the soft night air. 

But, John Murphy was already fast asleep.


	5. dalliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short chapter! final chapter is next <3

Murphy awoke to the sound of chatter. The delinquent teenagers were rowdy this morning and their conversations were a bit louder than usual. 

Murphy's fingers crawled across the floor of the tent and halted once they felt the unexpected skin of Bellamy's arm. Around this time, Bellamy was usually gone and Murphy was alone in the tent. 

"Good morning." Bellamy spoke groggily as a yawn cut through his words, his muscles expanding as his arms reached through the air. 

Bell had fallen asleep shortly after Murphy did last night. He almost didn't remember the three words he whispered to Murphy right after he fell asleep. Bellamy was more than glad Murphy had no idea, the thought of his feelings not being reciprocated shook him to the core. 

"Good morning." Murphy responded. "What are you doing here?"

The other boy let out a laugh, turning his bare body to face Murphy. "Its my tent."

"... I mean. You're usually not here when I wake up."

"I wanted to sleep in a little, spend some time with my best friend." 

"I'm your best friend?" Murphy questioned innocently. 

"Of course. You got a little something..." Bellamy's thumb gently swiped across the softness of Murphy's cheek, brushing off a stray eyelash. 

Murphy shivered underneath Bellamy's touch. "Thanks." 

"Did you know that sometimes your eyes change color, Murphy?"

Murphy shook his head. 

"When I first met you, I could've sworn that they were brown. Slowly but surely they started turning blue." Bellamy was slightly amazed with the subtle transformation he had witnessed. 

"What else?"

"What else what?" questioned Bellamy. 

"What else is there about me? What do I look like?" The last time Murphy had seen himself was when he was a small child, and even that memory had faded and distorted. 

"Your skin used to be very pale. But you've started to tan a little." Bellamy's fingers hovered over the softness of Murphy's cheek. 

"Your hair somehow always looks styled, like gravity has absolutely no effect on it." Bellamy laughed and ruffled Murphy's hair. 

"Your lips are small. They don't make too big of a deal of themselves. They just sit nicely on your face..." Bellamy leaned in closer. 

"They look very soft." Bellamy's lips rested slightly on top of Murphy's. 

"I want to kiss them." 

Murphy's heart pounded in his chest. He wasn't even sure if he wanted this but soon he found himself closing the space between him and Bellamy. Their lips collided together like bumper carts. There was passion, pain, raw emotion all wrapped into one as the boys bit and licked at one another's lips, pressing their bodies together almost as if they were trying to merge into one. 

Bellamy's hands haphazardly ran across every inch of Murphy's body. He pulled away for a second, staring deep into Murphy's eyes. Only wishing he was staring back. 

Bellamy cupped Murphy's face and whispered, "I love you."

Murphy froze up. His heart stopped pounding and all the color left his cheeks. "I - I can't, I - I have to leave." he muttered, choking on the words. The smaller boy shot up and rushed out of the tent, leaving Bellamy bewildered and behind. 

*

Murphy didn't know what was wrong with him. He had a friend. Something he had always wanted. 

But Bellamy loved him. Loved him more than a friend. 

Murphy had never experienced that.

Murphy never had any romantic interests. And Murphy wasn't too sure if he wanted one. 

His quickly changing thoughts refused to cooperate and suddenly he found himself vomiting somewhere in the middle of the woods. 

"Murphy? What are you doing out here? Are you okay?" There was a soft voice in the darkness. 

Murphy turned his head towards the source. "Octavia." he let out a small sob. 

The girl rushed towards him and took the fragile boy in her arms, "What is it? What happened?"

The boy let his tears soak into the shoulder of Octavia's jacket, his head shaking and his hands trembling as Octavia ran a hand through his hair, trying to comfort him. "I ruined it." He cried. "Bellamy loves me and I ruined it. I ruin everything."

"No, of course you didn't M." Octavia knew from the start that Bellamy had feelings for Murphy, she watched from the sidelines as his feelings developed rapidly. "You should tell him how you feel."

"I don't. I don't know how I feel." Murphy mumbled. 

Octavia couldn't help but laugh. "You love him. There's no other reason you'd be out here, throwing up and crying if you didn't." 

Murphy stopped crying and stood up straight, rubbing his temples with a frustrated touch. "I've never loved anyone before..."

"Its okay to be scared, Murphy. But you don't want to live life with regrets. Not down here. The ground is all about second chances."

And with those words, Murphy made his way back to Bellamy's tent. 

Bellamy had been crying to himself and was shocked to see Murphy again. "I'm sorry.. I didn't... I never wanted-"

Murphy cut him off "I love you too."

*

Murphy and Bellamy found themselves in each other arm's, almost completely naked. Their actions were sloppy and their kisses were wet. 

The air inside Bellamy's tent became hot and humid and its fabric rustled every time the boys bumped and grinded against each other. 

Bellamy refused to leave any part of Murphy's body untouched, his hands moving up and down and across Murphy's systematically. Bellamy's rapid but calculated movements sent shivers down Murphy's spine. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." They would mumble in between their kisses. 

"I want you."

"I need you." They would moan in between warm touches. 

Eventually they stopped talking altogether and instead just moaned and groaned and grunted. 

Murphy would gasp ever so slightly whenever Bellamy would make him feel things he never knew he was capable of feeling. 

Bellamy would bite down on his lip whenever Murphy placed gentle kisses on his delicate skin. 

The boys heavy breaths and rapid heartbeats synchronized as the consummation of their love came to an end with a joint eruption. 

Murphy, sitting on Bellamy's lap, his arms thrown around Bellamy's neck, was exhausted. 

Bellamy, eyes wide open, felt as if he could never sleep again. 

Murphy placed a final kiss on Bellamy's lips before falling asleep in his arms. 

Bellamy stayed awake, holding Murphy all through the night.


	6. mellifluous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! i'm truly so sorry i didn't finish this fic earlier!!! but i finally finished it so here it is!! i'm so glad a lot of you guys liked it, thanks so much for leaving so many kind comments <33 lemme know what you guys think at the end of this chapter :)

Murphy felt weird the next morning. But, not a bad kind of weird.

He felt like he finally had something to live for. He felt like he finally had a purpose. He felt loved.

He felt happy.

And God knows Murphy hadn’t been happy in a long time. 

His head nuzzled into the crook of Bellamy’s neck and his lips pressed softly to his skin. Murphy could feel Bellamy stirring beneath him, awaking from his slumber. Bellamy yawned and stretched, his eyes opening to take in the brand new day.

“Good morning.” Bellamy pressed a kiss to Murphy’s forehead.

“Good morning.” Murphy said, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling too hard. 

“Oh crap!” Bellamy muttered, rising from their makeshift bed in the tent to put on a t-shirt and some pants. “I almost forgot about the meeting!”

There was supposed to be a group meeting later at the day. Bellamy wouldn’t tell him too many details but apparently there were outside threats that the one hundred would have to deal with. Even though Bellamy refused to tell him anything, Murphy had heard from random conversations around the camp that there were in fact other people living on the ground. They were the descendants of people who somehow managed to survive the nuclear fallout. Murphy had heard that these… grounders… were savages. Brutal hunters who lived in the wilderness. Murphy wasn’t too sure if the last part was true or not but he was still scared regardless. 

“I want to go.” Murphy demanded. 

Bellamy shook his head, “No.” 

“I’m a part of the hundred too y’know. I should be involved.” Murphy began to rise from bed too, making his way around the tent to find his discarded clothes. 

“Its for leaders - Me, Clarke, Finn, Raven…” Bellamy mentioned a few more names of people who Murphy had never met. 

Murphy rubbed his temples, “This isn’t a democracy.”

“You’re goddamn right it isn’t! If everyone had a say, we all would’ve died the first day we landed.” 

Murphy remained silent trying to think of a good argument, but his words came out in an aggressive demand. “I’m going.”

“You’re not. And that’s that.” Bellamy made his way to the opening of the tent and took one last look at Murphy before leaving. 

* * *

Murphy sat on a wooden log in the main area of the camp, rolling a dry piece of fruit between his fingers. He wondered why Bellamy refused to let him sit in on the meeting, why it was such a big deal in the first place. It's not like Murphy hadn’t dealt with sensitive information before. He tried not to let it get to him, but the more Murphy dwelled on the subject the more upset he got. 

They had sex yesterday, and ‘I love you’s were thrown around. But now, Bellamy acted as if him and Murphy weren’t equals, as if Murphy was nothing but some irresponsible burden that Bellamy had to look after. He hated feeling like that. 

Murphy was independent. Murphy could do everything on his own. It's not like he needed Bellamy anyways.

But he sure as hell did want Bellamy. But Bell didn’t want Murphy at the meeting.

So now, Murphy didn’t want him either. 

“Hey! What’chya thinking about!” Murphy felt someone plop down next to him. It was the familiar cheerful voice he was so accustomed to hearing when he needed advice or a push in the right direction. Octavia. 

“The meeting Bellamy wouldn’t let me go to.” A hint of hostility in his voice. 

“Yeah, I wanted to go too, walked into the dropship and they kicked me out.”

Murphy laughed a little, but the topic was still clearly bothering him. “They treat us like a children.”

“I just think they don’t want us all panicking. I mean if we didn’t have someone leading us…” Octavia took a pause to think. “We’d all be dead.”

“You sound like Bellamy.”

“Well, he is my brother.”

Murphy stood from the log and opened his collapsible cane. He began walking in the direction the wind was pushing him. 

Octavia was far behind now, “Where are you going!” She called out. 

“To prove a point.” He whispered to himself. 

* * *

There was something strangely comforting about being alone in the woods. The way the wind made the tree leaves sing, the way the sun tried its hardest to find some clearing in the midst of heavy foliage to shine through, the way you could hear almost every noise including your heart beating against your chest. It all made Murphy feel serene, like he was in some heavy slumber. 

The boy pushed branches and leaves away with his cane, remembering the time Bellamy used his arm as a diagram to show Murphy what trees looked like. 

He wasn’t sure what he was doing out here. 

Maybe he was looking for a grounder - if Bellamy wasn’t going to let him in at the meeting, then he’d surely have to figure out what the big deal was on his own. 

Maybe he would find one and run off to join their grounder group. 

Maybe he just wanted to get lost forever. 

Maybe he just wanted Bellamy to find him out here so he cou-

Murphy’s head whipped around when a twig snapped behind him. His ears perked up. His heart began beating faster in his chest and eventually it drowned out all the other noises.

“Hello?” he called out. “Who’s there!”

There was no reply. 

* * *

Octavia ran into the dropship, out of breath and almost distraught. 

“Octavia!” Bellamy shouted, “I kicked you out the first time! Leave!”

“Bell…” Octavia panted trying to regain her breath, pushing her brown hair off the sweat from her forehead. “It’s Murphy….”

Bellamy’s tone instantly shifted. “Murphy? What happened?”

“He ran off into the woods.”

Bellamy took off without another word.

* * *

Bellamy’s thoughts raced faster than his feet. The only thing he could think about was Murphy, and how mad he was that he would do something so stupid as running off into the woods. 

Branches slapped across Bellamy’s head and body, he tried to push them away but the further he got into the woods the heavier and thicker the branches became. He felt as if he was suffocating as the trees danced closer and closer towards him. 

And then there was a clearing amidst the havoc. A small green field, where the grass was tall and the sun shined brightly on. It was warm, yet inexplicably cold. Bellamy’s heart felt dull and heavy. His feet could no longer move. His breath caught in his throat. 

For in the middle of this tiny field, was Murphy. His body curled into an eerily distorted fetal position. His mouth barely open and his eyes wide open. There were scratches across his pale skin and blood dripped ever so slightly from them. 

Bellamy dropped to his knees and crawled over what seemed like a thousand miles. He turned Murphy over to face him. There was deep wound in the boy’s stomach and Bellamy couldn’t figure out what it was from. There was no one else in sight. 

“I’m dying.” Murphy spoke softly. Bellamy hushed him immediately. He wanted to reach up and grab the breaths from the air and put them back into Murphy’s lung. They were too vital. 

“Someone help!” Bellamy shouted and screamed and yelled and roared. His voice fading a little more each time he yelled out the plead. But no one came quick enough. 

“It’s too late.” Murphy spoke, Bellamy could barely see his heart beating in his cheat anymore.

"No." Bellamy sobbed. "You don't get to make me love you and then leave me like this. It's not fair. You're not gonna die today, John Murphy." 

Murphy smiled, his breaths growing more shallow. He reached his hands up to Bellamy's face and began stroking his cheek. "I love you, Bellamy Blake."

"Please don't leave me." Bellamy whispered softly. 

"I'll always be with you." It wasn't a cryptic sentence or some sort of ghostly saying, but a fact. Murphy truly would be with Bellamy forever, he was permanently engraved in Bellamy's mind and soul. “I’ve never seen you with my own two eyes… But… I know you are so beautiful Bellamy Blake.”

There was a silence and then Murphy spoke again. “Your voice… it’s so… mellifluous.”

The word was so heavenly and angelic when it left Murphy’s dying lips it made Bellamy break into another sob. “I love you so much.”

Bellamy rocked a dying Murphy gently in his arms. Sobbing quietly as he recited the blessing he heard countless times when someone died on the Ark. 

"In peace, may you leave this shore." Murphy's heart rate steadily declined. 

"In love, may you find the next." Murphy's lips stopped quivering. 

"Safe passage on your travels..." The blood from Murphy's wound seemed to stop flowing. 

"Until our final journey to the ground." Murphy grew cold. 

"May we meet again." A strong breeze made the trees shake as Bellamy laid a last kiss upon Murphy's lips.

John Murphy died that night in Bellamy Blake's arms.


End file.
